


Family Reunion

by boleyn13



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Adopted Loki (Marvel), Alternate Universe - Human, Christmas, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Gen, Holidays, Humor, M/M, Multi, Sibling Rivalry, Snowed In, Steve has never been this uncomfortable, Tony is having fun, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:27:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28484607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boleyn13/pseuds/boleyn13
Summary: Steve and Tony want to get as far away from their familes as possible over the holidays. They end up spending Christmas in Norway, snowed in with the Odinson family. Staying out in a snow storm might have been the better option.
Relationships: Brunnhilde | Valkyrie/Thor (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Loki/Tony Stark
Comments: 27
Kudos: 139





	Family Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody and Happy New Year!
> 
> Here is my late Christmas fic which isn't very christmassy at all. I hope you enjoy it, if so be so kind and leave a comment :)
> 
> Have fun!

“Well… it could be worse.” Tony hinted at a tentative smile, but that attempt was completely in vain. Steve was having none of it. His reaction couldn’t have been any drier. “How? How could it be any worse?” To emphasize his unspoken point Steve gestured at the windshield where there was nothing to see but snow drift. Almost as if somebody had pulled a white curtain closed around them.

Adjusting the collar of his jacket to be able to snuggle deeper into the fabric Tony shrugged helplessly. “Would you rather be sitting around the Christmas tree with Barnes’ family? Having your cheeks pinched and being told what a marvellous piece of apple pie you are?”

A visible shudder went through Steve’s body and he chose to avoid Tony’s gaze by staring right at the miserable situation they had found themselves in. Out of the window. “There must be something in between Christmas with the Barnes and being stuck in a Norwegian snowstorm.”

“Let’s change places and I’ll get behind the steering wheel.”

“No way, Tony.”

Despite Steve’s unwavering tone Tony kept protesting. “Come on, I’ll go one mile per hour. Maybe we can get far away enough from the storm before it really hits the fan.”

Stubbornly but also reasonably Steve shook his head. “You can barely see anything. Neither of us knows this road. We’re not going to continue driving. We have to wait this out.”

Groaning in defeat Tony crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Any idea how long a snowstorm can last?”

“I don’t know, Tony.” Steve definitely hadn’t imagined that their trip to Norway would lead them here. Stranded on a deserted road somewhere in the middle of nowhere, caught in a snowstorm that clearly hadn’t reached its height yet. There was quite a number of places where he would rather be and Christmas at home wasn’t one of them.

The silence between them didn’t last very long because Tony got frustrated by the uselessness of his phone and felt the urge to vent. “How can I have no signal because of a little bit of snow? Why did you have to choose such an underdeveloped country to visit?”

“It’s hardly underdeveloped when it has the highest standard of living in the entire world. To answer your question, because it’s beautiful, far away from home and you’ve loved every second of it until now.” Steve answered matter-of-factly and Tony grumbled in agreement. “It’s not going to be so beautiful anymore when we’re going to freeze to death.”

“We’re not going to freeze to death.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Because there is a car coming.”

They were hard to make out in the snow, but there indeed two bright lights slowly coming closer. Tony immediately took the opportunity to complain. “See? They seem to be able to drive in this weather.”

“They are natives. They probably know where they are going. Hopefully they have a working phone.” Steve flashed their lights and Tony displayed a severe case of watching too many True Crime documentaries. “I bet it’s the only serial killer this country has and he is going to butcher the two stupid lost Americans.”

“This is probably the safest country in the entire world.”

“That’s what so ironic about it.”

They didn’t have any more time to fight about their impending death, because the lights had stopped moving. The car was dark which made it easier to make out. Someone was getting out of it and walking up to them despite the horrible conditions. Steve lowered the window and Tony mumbled, “And we’re gonna die.”

Truth to be told, the guy leaning down to talk to them definitely had the figure of a deranged axe-murderer. Tall, bulky, with big shoulders. “Trenger du hjelp?”

Smiling a bit shyly Steve answered, “I am sorry, we don’t speak Norwegian.” For some reason he felt ridiculous saying that, although it clearly made no sense to be embarrassed about his lacking language skills. They should feel stupid for being stuck here in the snow.

The man who most likely didn’t have any association with any axe-murderers switched into English, his accent was barely noticeable. “I was asking if you needed any help. Evidently you do.”

“Yeah, we were on our way to Tromso and were surprised by the snowstorm. We didn’t dare to drive any further.”

“I see. You are also trespassing. This is a private road on private property.”

“Oh.” Instantly Steve felt the blood rush into his cheeks. The idea of breaking a law, even by accident, or disrespecting the rules of another country terrified and alienated him. “I am so sorry. Vision got really bad and we probably got lost. It wasn’t our intention…”

“Listen, pal, sorry for driving down your road. We’d love to get off it anyway. Our phones are dead though. Can you call help to get us out of here?”

“This is just the beginning of the storm. It’s going to get a lot worse. Nobody is going to dare to leave their houses. You clearly cannot go on driving. That would be crazy.”

Steve shared a helpless look with Tony, but the Norwegian kept talking. “I guess it would be best if you came with us.”

Tony didn’t have to be right always, he really wouldn’t mind if the man wasn’t an actual serial killer. “Us? Go where?”

“My brother and me. Our parents’ house is right up the mountain. You can wait there till the storm is over.”

Isolated house with complete strangers in a snowstorm with no way to contact anyone. Yep, definitely a good idea. Steve and him didn’t have much of a choice though, so they accepted the stranger’s help.

“We’ll leave your car right here and get it when the storm is over. Get all the stuff you need. We have to be quick. I’m Thor by the way.”

After a hurried introduction and grabbing their bags from the backseat Tony and Steve left the car and immediately asked themselves how Thor had been able to stay outside long enough to even talk to them. The cold was biting at them and the wind seemed to have actual fists to hit them. Getting into Thor’s car was an immense relief although they weren’t greeted with friendly words. At least Tony thought so, he didn’t understand a word the guy said who was riding shotgun. Thor had the decency to answer in English. “This are Tony and Steve, they got lost in the storm. This is my brother Loki.”

Loki wasn’t happy about their presence, that much was obvious. “Aha and why are Tony and Steve in our car now?”

Unfortunately the conversation continued in Norwegian which was terribly awkward. Eventually Loki glanced over his shoulder at them and muttered a few words under his breath. Tony caught something that sounded like ‘amerikansk’ which probably meant stupid guys from overseas. Whatever concerns his brother might have had Thor seemed to have dealt with them since he was quickly switching to small talk. “So what brings you to Norway? Tourism?”

Steve was about to tell them that he had always wanted to visit Norway when Tony chimed in with a less polished version of the truth. “It’s Christmas, so we wanted to get as far away as possible from our families.”

Steve glared at Tony, but at least Loki didn’t seem to mind the remark. “I thought the two of you were stupid for getting caught in the storm. This is a very smart thing you just said. I should have flown to the US.”

“Loki…”

“What? Other people are successfully avoiding their families. I am envious.” The sigh Loki let out was a testament to actual pain and longing. Maybe Tony was starting to warm up to him after all. Wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen because they were going to be stuck with these Norwegians for some time.

Ignoring his brother Thor asked, “Why don’t you want to spend Christmas with your families?”

“Because they seem to be reasonable people.” Loki answered for them and Steve was already feeling uncomfortable. Naturally he was immensely grateful that these two strangers had saved them from a night out in the cold, but they were strangers nonetheless. There was no need to discuss completely private matters. Of course Tony didn’t have the same inhibitions. “To give my father the chance to give me a detailed report of everything that I fucked up during the entire year? Not going to happen. With Steve it’s the other way round. His boyfriend’s family is a little too friendly.”

“Ex-boyfriend.” Steve corrected in a hushed voice. “And they are a wonderful family. Just a little too close for a loner like me.”

“Next year I am going to Iceland. Screw Christmas traditions. These two have it figured out.”

“Loki!” Thor sounded downright shocked and Loki obviously didn’t care.

The rest of the drive was nerve racking and Steve was in a perpetual state of fear that they weren’t going to arrive at the brothers’ house. A glance out of the window didn’t offer anything but the colour white. They were driving uphill at a terrifying slow pace and every passing second Steve feared that the tyres might lose their grip and they would slide down to their premature death. When Thor got them to their destination safely Steve silently thanked god.

They hadn’t even got a glimpse of the house in the storm, Steve only realised that they had arrived when the car pulled up into a spacious garage.

“Come on, you guys must be freezing. Let’s get you a cup of tea. Leave your stuff in the car for now. We’ll get it later.”

As it turned out the house was actually the most luxurious lodge a person could think of and then some. Naturally Tony wasn’t nearly as impressed as Steve, he was used to fancy stuff that most people would never come in contact with. Steve only stopped marvelling at his surroundings when the two brothers took off their heavy coats and bonnets. The removal of these garments revealed two distinctly different physiques. Judging by the size of Thor’s upper arms ripping logs of wood apart with his bare hands should absolutely be in the range of his possibilities. A shock of blond hair and lithe blue eyes that stood in harsh contrast to his brother’s long dark strands. Even if one disregarded hair and eye colour, Loki’s were green, nobody would assume that they were related. While Thor was bulky and had the silhouette of a man who spend a lot of time pumping iron, Loki was lean and graceful. They most definitely didn’t look like brothers, but it would be the pinnacle of impoliteness to even make an allusion to this fact.

“Okay, are you sure you guys aren’t two serial killers who claim that they are brothers as a cover? The two of you look nothing alike.”

Loki’s reaction to Tony’s rude remark was a casual statement. “I am adopted.”

This explanation for their obvious distinctions seemed to upset Thor way more than Tony’s question. “Do you have to mention that at every possible opportunity?”

“He asked.”

“He did not.”

Rolling his eyes Loki dropped the subject. “You want some tea? Do Americans drink tea?”

They did and over tea Steve and Tony learned that not just the lodge but the entire mountain belonged to the brother’s family. Apparently they celebrated Christmas here every year, the parents, the brothers and their sister. By trying to avoid one family reunion Steve and Tony had stumbled into another. Fantastic.

“So uhm… any idea how long that snow storm is going to last?”

“Hard to say, but we’re probably going to spend Christmas together. Loki, can you tell Mum and Dad that we have guests and I’ll show them the guest rooms?”

“Thrilled.”, Loki muttered under his breath, but he did leave the room to do what Thor had asked of him. The blonde brother then led Tony and Steve upstairs, explaining that this place was big enough for both of them to have their own room for as long as they were here. It wasn’t the worst fate. Tony wasn’t at home, the lodge was superb and one of the Norwegians had a cute ass.

“We don’t use this part of the lodge much. So it’s perfectly quiet and you don’t have to worry that…”

They didn’t learn what they didn’t have to worry about, because they suddenly found themselves in mortal danger. A dog turned around at the end of the corridor. Dog didn’t seem to be the best description, this beast didn’t quite fit this category. It was incredibly huge, easily reaching Steve’s waist. Despite being a dog person, Steve immediately felt overcome by the urge to take a big step back or even better to run away. The definite signs of aggression displayed by the dog were simply terrifying. Although it didn’t come closer the dog held its head low, bared itss sharp teeth and growled at them. There wasn’t a doubt in Steve’s mind that one bite could tear substantial pieces of flesh out of one’s body. Glancing at Tony Steve saw that most of the colour had drained from his friend’s face.

“Uhm… Thor?”

Most frightening about this situation was that Thor appeared to be as freaked out by the dog as them. This was his house but not his dog? Or was it a wild wolf after all? Steve was starting to sweat which was disastrous since dogs were capable of smelling fear.

“Hela!”

A woman walked up behind the dog and casually put her hand on its head, caressing it behind its ears. She did it with the greatest nonchalance, as if this beast didn’t look like it was ready to devour somebody’s guts. Probably Steve’s or Tony’s.

“What is wrong, little brother? Did Fenrir catch you off guard?” The woman, Thor’s sister Hela, grinned in the most wicked way, but Steve was still keeping his attention on the dog’s big mouth and teeth.

“What is he doing here? Father made very clear that he didn’t want him in the house.”

“Perhaps you haven’t noticed, but there is a snowstorm going on outside. Also Fenrir enjoys the place in front of the fireplace.”

“Dad is going to be pissed.”

“Dad is always pissed. Also, I believe that he is going to be more interested in your guests than Fenrir.”

“Oh, right.” Thor suddenly seemed to remember their presence. “Hela, this is…”

“Steve and Tony. I saw you on security cams and I was bored, so I listened over the intercom.”

Snorting softly Tony showed himself a little bit offended. “That’s a great display of respect for privacy.”

Hela ignored that remark. “See you later then. Come on, Fenrir.” She and the dog walked past them and Steve was a little afraid to admit that he had held his breath. When she was gone Thor sent them an apologetic smile. “I am sorry. She is… a piece of work, but she loves that dog.”

“How can she even afford to feed that monster when she’s spending all her money on eyeliner?”

Steve wanted to kick Tony. Did he want to go back out into the snow storm and was therefore insulting Thor’s sister? Granted, it had been years since Steve had last seen a goth.

Thor graciously didn’t dwell on the subjection of his sister and instead assigned two beautiful rooms to Steve and Tony before excusing himself to talk to his parents.

Left alone now they had a moment among themselves. “Apart from the hellhound… this is on par with a luxury hotel. You are right, things could have gone a lot worse.”

“Yeah, I’m still placing my money on the serial killer option. It’s either hellhound lady or Thor. He is too nice, I don’t trust that.”

A little annoyed by this recurring theme Steve shrugged. “I don’t really care as long as they murder you before me.”

Both of them had a quick shower and a change of clothes before they met up again in the corridor. It was time they introduced themselves to the parents, thanking them for not letting them freeze outside the day before Christmas Eve. Steve and Tony soundlessly tiptoed down the stairs, definitely worried to have another run in with the dog. At least they didn’t have to start looking around the house, they quickly found the entire family in the main room in the centre of the lodge, gathered around the impressive and simply gorgeous fireplace.

An involuntary smile appeared on Tony’s face when he instantly had to imagine what a Christmas card with all of them would look like. They definitely were a funny looking bunch. Dad was rocking the white beard and stern expression of a typical patriarch. Mom was at least ten years younger than him and exactly what one would expect from an upper class lady. Her long golden locks were elegantly falling over her shoulder in a delicate braid. With all three kids assembled in the same room one was tempted to think that Thor was the adopted one. The blonde was a real hunk while his dark-haired siblings were both on the skinny side. However, Hela’s hair was obviously dyed, but a blonde goth would look ridiculous.

“Uhm… hello. I hope we’re not interrupting.” Steve tried to win everybody over with his sweetest smile, because it was obvious that the mood in this room was a little frosty.

“You are actually, but there is not a lot one can do about it now since it seems that we are going to spend Christmas together.” Not the warmest welcome from dad.

“Father, may I introduce you to Steve and Tony. They’re spending their holidays in Norway and ended up having some trouble with the weather. Steve, Tony, this is my father Odin and my mother Frigga.”

While Odin merely gave a short nod, Frigga stood up from the couch to greet them personally with a welcoming smile. “The two of you were lucky to run into my boys. I am sure you had very different plans for Christmas, but we consider you our guests for as long as the snow keeps you from your other engagements. Please, have a seat. Tell us about yourselves.”

Clearing her throat Hela raised an eyebrow at her mother. “Uhm, Mum? I don’t think dad was finished giving me shit about Fenrir.”

Frigga punished her daughter with a displeased but not very surprised look. “Darling, please. It’s Christmas. Mind you language in front of our guests.”

“Technically they are no guests, but strays that Thor picked up at the side of the road.” That charming statement came from Loki who was lounging on the couch like a bored teenager. “You love strays, don’t you, Hel?”

His sister answered with a bit of a snarl. “At least Fenrir doesn’t bite the hand that feeds him. He is loyal unlike other people.”

“Right, he only bites people that bump into you in the street.” Thor muttered under his breath and Tony discreetly leaned towards Steve and whispered, “From one only child to another… is that normal sibling behaviour?”

Honestly, Steve had no clue.

“Enough talk about the dog.” Odin decided firmly. “Make sure that he stays in his room. Our guests must be tired. Let them get some rest before dinner.”

***

The dining room was so outrageously fancy that Steve had to mentally compare it to Christmas dinner at the Barnes’ family. Two things that had absolutely nothing in common. Bucky’s folk didn’t have expensive silverware or crystal glasses. It was chaos, actually. Loads of food all over the table, everybody grabbed what they wanted, it was loud, cheerful, everybody was talking at the same time. A bit of a mess and completely overwhelming for somebody who was a lover of silence and calmness.

Anybody would be able to tell that this dinner wasn’t going to be a loud or wild affair. Frigga and Odin weren’t exactly dressed like they were heading for the opera, but there was a definitive lack of funny and purposely ugly Christmas sweaters.

Frigga looked lovely in her blue dress and Steve told her as much. “Thank you, my dear. That is so very kind of you. Hela has a dress very similar to this one. She refuses to wear it since it isn’t black, but if she did, you would be speechless. She’d be so stunning.”

Hela rolled her eyes and because Steve wasn’t sure if this had been an insult or a compliment he remained silent. One person was still missing at the table and Odin was impatiently drumming his fingers against the table top.

Tony wasn’t a fan of silence and the awkward kind of it was too hard to stomach for him. Time to make some conversation. “I guess Loki is the type of guy who likes a big entrance?”

“One could say that.” Thor agreed weakly and Odin’s face remained completely blank. “He does have an affinity for theatrics. Which unfortunately have a negative effect on his manners.”

Why did Tony feel like a déjà-vu was creeping up on him? Luckily Loki showed up just one minute later and Tony appreciated it. Tight black pants that were hugging slim legs were always a positive in Tony’s book. Also, the rolled up sleeves of his white hoodie revealed that his lower arms were covered in dark tattoos. From what Tony could see they looked good, nicely done. He wasn’t the only one who noticed. Steve’s compliment obviously hadn’t been good enough to keep the smile on Frigga’s face. The tattooed arms clearly didn’t have the same effect on her as they did on Tony.

“Love, please. It is Christmas. We have guests. Would you head back upstairs and dress appropriately?”

“I am 28 years old, mother. I can choose my own clothes and I do think I look great in them.”

“So do I.” Hela smirked like a shark. “The tattoos are the only good thing about him. Naturally he is going to show them off.”

“Thanks, Hel. Don’t appreciate it.” Loki replied drily and Frigga let out the frustrated sigh of a mother. One that was supposed to make you feel bad about disappointing her. “I just do not understand. Have you ever met somebody with skin as flawless as yours? Why would you cover it with ink?”

“We’re not going to have another discussion about Loki’s tattoos. Especially not over dinner.” Odin put a firm end to this and Steve was incredibly glad about that. He was in the mood for some small talk and would rather not witness the discussion of family matters.

The food itself was fantastic. So good actually that Steve was convinced that there had to be staff in the kitchen. For some reason he could not imagine Frigga behind the kitchen stove. Conversation was more easy-going now since it was mostly focused on Tony and Steve. How they had enjoyed their trip so far. Where else they intended to go. If they weren’t able to read the weather report. Why had they chosen Norway for their trip.

“An odd time of the year for such a journey.” Odin remarked eventually. “What did your families say when it became clear that you weren’t going to celebrate Christmas together?”

Going into that would be like walking on very thin ice. Mostly Steve didn’t want to risk Tony going on a rant about Christmas at the Stark home, so he talked about himself, sticking as close to the truth as possible. “I don’t have a family of my own. I used to celebrate Christmas with my boyfriend’s family, but we broke up. Rather recently. It felt like a good idea to go on this trip with Tony.”

“I am sad to hear that, my dear.” Judging by Frigga’s eyes she felt genuine pity for him and Steve could really do without that. “Have you been a couple for a long time?”

“Better part of three years.”

“I am sorry, but I am sure you are going to find someone new. You are a sweet young man after all.” Now Steve could point out that he was not looking for somebody new, but instead he just smiled and luckily Frigga turned her attention to Tony. “What about you? I hope you are not leaving some poor girl or guy alone at home while traveling with Steve.”

The mere suggestion had Tony laughing. “No worries there. I am the worst at relationships. I stay out too long, I forget important dates and I tend to embarrass myself and my partner. I am a nightmare. Also the in-laws always hate me.”

That should have been it, but strangely enough Thor now chimed in while torturing the meat on his plate with his fork. “This isn’t that important, is it? As long as you and your partner make each other happy and respect each other… It doesn’t really matter what anybody else thinks about your relationship.”

“Thor.” That was all Odin said. Just his name. It sounded like a warning. One that Thor ignored. “What? I am just engaging in conversation.”

“This is neither the right place nor the right time.”

“To talk about my girlfriend and how you do not like her?”

Odin didn’t hesitate to meet his son’s eyes. “It’s not her that I dislike. It’s the drinking.”

Was this some sort of soap opera that Tony had stumbled into? The dinner had definitely got more interesting. Shockingly so. How nice that for once it wasn’t him who was being accused of being a drunk. It was kind of funny to see such a big guy like Thor getting defensive. “So she enjoys a drink or two from time to time. So what? It’s not the Middle Ages where women aren’t allowed to drink.”

Until now Loki had looked almost bored by the subject of Thor’s girlfriend’s alcohol consumption, but that lack of interest didn’t stop him from voicing his opinion. “Thor, it has never been a secret that you are not the most gifted mathematician. We will need to correct this equation. When you say a drink or two, you mean a barrel of whiskey. From time to time means twice a day. Also, I’ve never heard of a Medieval law that said that women couldn’t drink.”

“Nobody asked for your input, Loki!”

“You are not going to scold your brother for telling the truth. It happens so rarely anyway.” Odin narrowed his eyes at his eldest son while vaguely insulting the other one. “Apart from the excessive drinking, her complete disregard for all rules of politeness makes it very hard to be fond of her.”

“Valkyrie is not rude!”

His siblings snorted in perfect unison which was quite the achievement in Tony’s mind. Thor shot both of them a glance that dared them to say something, but it was Frigga who disagreed with him. “Darling, it is impolite to simply ignore an invitation. She didn’t even give a reason why she wouldn’t accompany you today.”

“She didn’t come because she knows you don’t want her here, mother.”

After taking a sip from her wine Hela asked with the perfect amount of sass, “Are you sure she isn’t in rehab again?”

Loki hummed in agreement. “That or a drinking binge. Picking up girls.”

Slowly this was turning into a pretty weird situation for Tony. This fight about Thor’s boozing, rude, bi-sexual girlfriend was quality entertainment. One had to take into consideration though that Thor could break the spine of every person in this bare room with his bare hands. Was it that much of a good idea to piss him off?

“Nothing you have to say on her behalf matters. You’ve always hated her.” As he was addressing Loki Thor’s voice sounded bitter and dismissive at the same time and his brother wouldn’t have it. “You’re getting confused, Thor. I’ve always hated the nerdy astrophysicist. I like Valkyrie. At least she is entertaining. I love how she is able to open a beer bottle with her teeth. So sophisticated.”

Thor was opening his mouth, but his father ended the discussion with a firm gesture of his hand. He looked like the kind of man who was used to doing this a lot. “Enough of this. It’s Christmas. All of us are sitting at the same table. We have guests. Show a little bit of restraint.”

All three of his kids pulled a face despite remaining silent. Steve was racking his brains to come up with some topic to talk about. Something completely uncontroversial, impossible to argue about. The weather? Puppies? He wasn’t fast enough, Frigga took control again, addressing Loki. “Love, when I can hope to meet somebody new in your life? You’ve been alone for such a long time now.”

“Mother, you really need to make up your mind. The last time I was with somebody you urged me to dump him.”

Tony was beginning to make mental notes. This was going to be very interesting.

The reminder of this former boyfriend had Frigga grimacing. “Only because he was a horrible match for you and not good enough for you, love.”

Thor shook his head. “Gast was a complete psychopath. It was a perfect match.”

“Brother dear, if you consider everyone smarter than you a psychopath, then the whole world is filled with insane people.” Loki smirked with a teasing sparkle in his eyes. Tony thought this was increasingly fun.

“It is crazy to put a snake in your brother’s bed!” Thor exclaimed forcefully and Loki obviously failed at suppressing a smile. “I thought you loved snakes.”

Okay, maybe it wasn’t such big fun after all, but Tony was still intrigued and Steve just looked mortified.

As if two siblings at each other’s throats weren’t enough, Hela decided to join in. “The snake was funny, I’ll admit, but it’s not psychotic. Psychotic behaviour is setting the garden shed on fire and blaming it on your sister.”

Steve audibly choked on his food while Loki remained completely calm. “Really? Still?”

“Hela, darling, please. It was a long time ago. You need to stop blaming Loki for your own misdeeds.”

“Why does everyone always believe him when he is the most notorious liar any of us is ever going to meet?” Hela didn’t appear too outraged about this, rather something that she had grown used to but still considered hugely unfair. Granted, Tony would be pissed too if his non-existent little brother liked to do a little arson and let him take the blame for it. Then again, Tony wasn’t into goths, he preferred snarky, skinny, attractive know-it-alls. For now he would give Loki the benefit of the doubt.

It was hard to keep up with who was on whose side since suddenly Thor was backing up Loki again. “Perhaps because he isn’t the one on probation for assault.”

“Oh please, everybody would have done the same in my situation. That guy had it coming.”

There were a lot of windows, Steve could easily jump out of one of them. How bad could a snow storm possibly be?

“Enough!” Odin’s fist hit the table top. “No more talk about our daughter’s criminal record our sons’ relationships. Let Loki grow old and lonely if he wishes to.”

“Yes, looking forward to it immensely. No more Christmas dinners to attend. Fine, change of topic.” Loki sighed and ignored his food in favour of his wine. “How is the company doing, father?”

Seemingly pleased by this question Odin answered willingly. “Business is going well. A huge workload as usual. It’s getting harder each year.”

“How terrible. It’s not like there is somebody ready and willing to take over the business at any time.” Hela spat, now clearly pissed off. “Seriously, dad. There is no reason why I am still on the board?”

Unimpressed and a little cold Odin met her eyes. “No reason except for the felony.”

“At least I am able to hold a job!”

Loki yawned demonstratively. “Oh, I am perfectly able of holding a job. Just not the one dad chooses for me. Thank you, very much. I would be bored to death.”

Suddenly everybody was talking at once and Steve had never felt more like an intruder in his entire life. He tried to make eye contact with Tony, to signal him that they maybe should leave the room, but Tony didn’t seem too uncomfortable with the situation. Just when Steve played the thought of crawling into a hole to never getting out of it again, a phone started to ring and everybody fell silent. Completely unbothered by the attention Loki reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. An action that clearly wasn’t appreciated by Odin.

“No phones at the dinner table!”

With his eyes glued to the screen Loki mumbled, “It’s a text. I have to answer. Otherwise that would be impolite, wouldn’t it?”

“Loki, put the phone away!”

For the first time Loki looked slightly vexed. “I’ll definitely pass on this next year. I am so going to Iceland.”

His plans had his mother shocked. “Loki! Christmas is time that you spend with your family.”

“Great then. They technically are my family.”

Whatever was going on it didn’t please Frigga. “Are you texting with them right now?”

When Loki didn’t replay Thor jumped at the opportunity. “He’s on the phone with them all the time. He flew to Reykjavik two times last months.”

“Shut up!” Loki snapped at him. “I looked for and found my biological family myself. I can meet up with them as often as I want to. It’s wonderful. No crazy girlfriends, killer dogs, pressure to work in a company that I do not care for…”

Even Loki flinched at Hela’s dry and spiteful laugh. “Those are some very nice excuses for going to Iceland all the time because you have the hots for your biological brother.”

What was snow anyway? Just really cold water. Steve could deal with that. A little bad weather could not be compared to the discomfort he was experiencing right now. Why had he ever wished to get away from Bucky’s overly tight family? Sure, they had no respect for anybody’s privacy and they were very touchy people, but at least they liked each other.

Loki raised his chin slightly, as if he was trying to defy his sister. “That’s just modern sensitivity talking. There were times when nobody minded incest. It was perfectly normal if you were a pharaoh.”

It was a miracle that Tony had been able to stay silent for this long. He definitely deserved to have some fun. “A Pharaoh or a Targaryen. I am a Stark, therefore I have no personal insight into this matter.”

Perfect, now everybody was looking at him as if he was crazy. At this table the mad person was definitely Tony. Right.

“It’s been a long day. I am tired and will go to bed. I suggest everybody else does the same.” Just like that Odin declared dinner to be over and all three of his children couldn’t get up from the table fast enough. That left Tony, Steve and the parents. Nope, thank you very much. “Thank you so much for the food, it was great. But you are right, we are really tired. Off to bed, good night.”

Both of them rushed out of the room and Steve instantly whispered in Tony’s ear, “Maybe serial killers would have been the better option. This family is completely crazy!”

Tony agreed, although with much less horror in his voice. “Oh yeah. I’m starting to believe that all rich people are crazy. Especially around Christmas time. No matter what continent they live on.”

“Let’s lock ourselves into our rooms and hope that the snow storm will be over tomorrow morning.”

They had reached the foot of the stairs and Tony was about to say something when he spotted a tall and dark figure having a smoke in the winter garden right next to them. Quick change of plans.

“Sleep tight, Steve. There’s something I have to ask serial killer number two.”

Knowing Tony all too well Steve merely shook his head and wished him a good night.

Loki raised one eyebrow when Tony approached him, holding the cigarette loosely between his fingertips. “This family must have left the most charming impression on you.”

Grinning from ear to ear Tony shrugged. “I guess you are in my top three, yes and I’ve met a lot of fucked up people. Mind sharing a smoke with me?”

Until now Tony had never had Norwegian cigarettes and he had to admit that he liked the taste of them. Perhaps there were other Norwegian things that he would enjoy the taste of as well. “So…” Tony exhaled and watched Loki’s lips closing around the end of his cigarette. “Your sister is kind of a bitch, huh?”

“Good choice of words and yet not enough to describe the beauty of her character.”

“Crazy bitch then?” Tony suggested and Loki smiled in amusement. “Yes, that sounds about right.”

They continued to smoke in easy silence until Tony came up with a new question. A little more delicate this time. “You know with your sister being a crazy bitch and talking shit… You are not really in love with your biological brother, right?”

Loki made a noise that sounded like a mixture between a laugh and a snort. “Of course not.” He took another deep drag from his cigarette and his eyes drifted off for a second as he mumbled, “But damn he is hot…”

“What?”

“What?”

Not sure if he was being made fun of Tony felt at a loss of words and Loki chuckled softly. “I did set the garden shed on fire though and framed her for it.” Then he put his finger on his lips to indicate Tony to remain quiet about this.

“Well, that’s… disturbing. What did she do to deserve that?” Tony didn’t think that he would do something like that to a sibling, but he couldn’t deny that there were people in his life that made him want to set things on fire. “It must have been something horrible.”

Loki nodded. “She kept taking my things without asking.”

“Unforgivable.”

“Indeed.”

Obviously that guy was insane, but Tony didn’t know what was good for himself, so no running away.

“My turn to ask a question.” Loki finally said after he had stubbed out his cigarette.

“Shoot.”

“Are you loud in bed?”

That came as a surprise. For Tony’s taste Loki’s tone was a little too casual, but he like the expression in his eyes. Flirty. “Only when I am enjoying myself a lot. Why are you asking?”

“The only way to get out of these Christmas celebrations is to make it too uncomfortable for people to be in the same room. With a little bit of extra effort I might even be kicked out as soon as the storm clears. My folks spent a fortune on this place, nevertheless the walls are ridiculously thin. During the night one can hear everything.” The way Loki pronounced that last word sent shivers down Tony’s spine. That was one sexy insane person.

Putting on a playfully pensive expression Tony nodded. “I see. Hearing two people have loud and… maybe dirty sex can definitely be uncomfortable.”

“Definitely dirty.”

“Oh yeah, definitely.” Tony agreed.

“So?” Loki asked, leaning against the wall and stretching out his impossibly long legs. As if Tony needed any more of an incentive to make up his mind. “So – where is your room?”

***

“Steve?”

Bucky was clearly surprised about this call and Steve had never been happier to hear his voice. It was a blessing.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“Getting everything ready for Christmas’ Eve. Pretty much everybody is already here and is fighting over what colour to decorate the tree. Also all my aunts brought pie although my Mom told them not to do that. I guess we have enough pie to live on for the next two months. It’s a bit strange because half of them are asking about you and I… Sorry, I guess you don’t really want to hear that.”

“God, I miss you so much… Can we… uhm… meet back up when I get back to the States? I’d like to… talk about a few things.”

There was a short pause at the other end of the line and Steve’s heart was beating wildly in his chest.

“Yes, I’d like that very much.”


End file.
